Eustace Scrubb's Conflicted Feelings in Voyage of the Dawn Treader

"In spite of the pain, his first feeling was one of relief. There was nothing to be afraid of any more. He was a terror himself now and nothing in the world but a knight (and not all of those) would dare to attack him. He could get even with Caspian and Edmund now——

But the moment he thought this he realised that he didn't want to. He wanted to be friends. He wanted to get back among humans and talk and laugh and share things. He realised that he was a monster cut off from the whole human race. An appalling loneliness came over him. He began to see that the others had not really been fiends at all. He began to wonder if he himself had been such a nice person as he had always supposed. He longed for their voices. "

This passage is from when Eustace is turned into a dragon and realizes it for the first time. His heart is in such an evil place that he is, at first, glad that this happened to him. As far as we know of Eustace so far, his heart's desire is to be by himself, and to have control over everyone, and essentially be allowed to be in a bad mood whenever he wants to and have people bend and submit to his own feelings. To be turned into a dragon is wonderful! He no longer has to do what other people want him to do. It is what he wanted all along. This is his flesh within him speaking. He has lived by his flesh for his whole life.

But then something else within him rebels against all that he has previously known, and he comes to a place of realization of what he really wants in his core - something that would require humility, but something that is ultimately greater than anything he can do on his own. This longing is the beginning of his redemption because he seeks it out eventually, but the initial longing is overwhelming.